|
| so i finally got an appartment, but it just happens to have a spider problem in my room....im over the garage so i get all the baby wolf spiders crawling over my pillows and blankets.....im in with tiffany but shes getting married next year and im her maid of honor...i get to help pick the dresses for the other brides maids i think tiff has finally settled on light pink dresses...not doing too much other than boring work and school....i am starting my 3 hour observations at schools in the next couple days....i have a hectic schedule....its been a while since i last wrote something so i figured might be a good time to write again....but yeah just bored right now watching family guy hangin with the boyfriend......
| | |
| so i really dont know what to do because i was supposed to get an appartment this summer by myself because no one else would do it with me but now a and k are telling me that i should join in with them....i dont know if i want to because ive had my hopes up about living on my own for soooo long since like second semester freshman year......i really dont know what to do.....the last one they told me about they were saying even if they find a house for rent it would probably be like $500 and thats without utilities......i personally think thats a stupid idea to do something without utilities.....ive been looking at the fowler appartments...they are known for their parties but there are a good bit of them away from the ones right on campus.....which are the ones i would go to because they arent party appartments. no one is listening to me about them not being party appartments i dont know why cuz anytime i bring it up they curl their noses and do that whatever face.......i cant afford anything else that is nice and also be able to pay for gas for work......i really dont know what to do because a came to me today and was like please consider it very hard like moving in with us becaucse of some personal things....but i dont know if i can id love to but i havent actually had alone time since this past summer.....im always arround someone or near someone or have the fact that someone could just walk in(after knocking of course) but it still gets to me im feeling smothered and slightly homesick......i dont know what to do i love my friends but i dont know......becacusei want to be able to do whatever i want whenever i want and not have to tell someone when im leaving the house or when i will be getting back. im also worried that i wont have any time to do what i want when i want before i graduate and once i graduate i will have no time to do that because i will be a teacher and i cant just go out and do whatever whenever i want because ill have to grade stuff and study stuff and get ready for the next day....is this really what i want? i dont know anymore...i wanna just live and not worry about whats gonna happen next not have to worry about if im gonna ever get outta debt one day.....not worry if im gonna lose my guy i have now......not worry about if im ever gonna see my step-brother again.......im just worried i wont be free...was college a good idea? is the appartment a good idea??? who can i talk to? dan wont stay on the phone long enough....i cant talk to my mom, my dad, my sister even......i cant talk to any of my friends cuz they have their own worries...what do i do???? | | |
| so im pretty much annoyed right now because of a few things that have happened this past weekend but i dont really wanna talk about it tooo much because yeah i just dont......so there will be a good chance that i will pass my geography class. soo ive written a letter to brandon i dont really talk to him that much be he did send me a christmas card taht was nice...im currently being a massive procrastinator as well because im supposed to have had 30 childrens books read by 4pm tonight but i havent well i have some of them read and typped out but i dont have any black ink so i cant print them unless i wanna spend like 10 cents a page and i dont feel like saving them then walking over to the library then printing them off...ill just wait. but yeah......im really bored as well i think i really might get a tatoo on my wrist.....it would be of an angel wing so yeah........... not much else to say...oh i did dye my hair its now brown :) | | |
| sooooo...... its been a while since i last wrote and some things have happened but not a lot.....im currently working back at pj's its not too bad the people are nice and its a lot better than my other jobs. im still dating dan :D weve been together for 13 1/2 months :) its nice to have someone who loves me and gives me really really long hugs and can mostly understand me and put up with me for an entire month non stop :D ya i stayed at dans house throughout christmas break except for the week of christmas. it was fun but kinda frustrating but things are working out for us now.....for some reason we have both been talking about getting married lately a lot lately.......and some differences....llike he wont get married unless he lives with the chick first but i wont live with the guy (even though i practically have been when on break) before i get married......no worries we wont get married for quite a while if we do.....i hope we do i realy love him and dont want to lose him but we both still have a ton of things to get worked out with ourselves and with each other sso that will take time so ya just thought id give an update.........ummm yyeah julie is asleep so i had better head to bed as well ill do homework later....... | | |
| so its almost that time of year when its my choice of which parent/ side of the family im gonna piss off and sit through the other being mad...so im sick of it and i want to spend one holiday with dan cuz think about it holidays are technically "holy day" but now when you think of a holiday you think of sometime when you arent that stressed out and you get to see your family again.....well with me its torture and wayyy more stressful than anything ive ever known.....having to split 3 days and one night with two families and only able to see part of one side of one family on that one specific day(thanksgiving day) well im sick of making my mom's side absolutely pissed off because i want to see my cousins and aunt and uncle on that day when by law before i was 18 i had to spend it with my mother but now im older i can choose. last year i split it and left my grandma's house early to see my dad and his family and my mom and grandma just absolutely hated me for it and my dad was all pissy because sarah didnt go to his house and i did so everyone constantly asked me wheres sarah?????? adn when i didnt want to say oh she didnt want to come over here......i had no idea so i just said shes at mom's house so the adults dropped it and my dad stayed pissed off but the kids were all sad and depressed like because sarah wasnt there.........so im just not gonna go home this year....this year im gonna be selfish and stay up here at dan's house........im sorry i just want to have a stress-free holiday just once please....whats gonna happen when i graduate and am too far away to visit for just a few/couple days but yeah so today i almost practically passed out and slightly puked in my mouth a little because i had to give a speech and i was shaking horribly and right afterward i sat down and i started crying.....im pitiful i hate it....critisize all you want about how i need to be able to talk infront of a big group of people because im becoming a teacher but im just becoming a kindergarten through first grade teacher i dont mind talking to those little kids its just the people who are arround my age i can talk to people who are wayy older than mebut grrrrr.....this makes me horribly mad that i cant do it....oh well well i got a history exam this thursday so i's gotta go | | |
|
|
